Wife receives $150k salary caring for mother-in-law, husband reprimands her for wanting to stop after 6 years: 'I am reaching a breaking point'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Feb 6, 2026 9:00 PM EST

Just because a job pays well doesn't mean you have to work at it forever.

When somebody feels the urge to move on from a role, that is usually a sign that they need to broaden their horizons. A lot of people do not benefit from staying in the same position for countless years. Not only can it get boring, but it can also start to take a toll on a person's mental health when they feel they are no longer the right fit for what they are doing.

Still, the situation is not always as simple as giving one's notice—particularly if family is involved. Some would argue that business and personal matters are something that should not mix, but it is the professional reality for many individuals nonetheless. When somebody is ready to leave a position that they are in because of a relative, things automatically become more complicated. There is the fear of disappointing people and the worry that family members will have unreasonable expectations regarding their departure. A career should be a place where somebody has agency and is able to make decisions for themselves, but it often doesn't feel that way in these kinds of scenarios.

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  • a younger woman bends over the shoulder of an older woman who is sat down, with a glass of orange juice in the foreground
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Six years ago, a wife agreed to act as a paid caregiver to her husband's elderly mother for a six figure salary. The majority of her job involved being a companion to her mother-in-law, as well as helping her with certain tasks.

    While the role seemed simple enough, the woman had reached a point where she no longer felt that the role was working for her. She felt bored and was tired of hearing the same stories over and over again. She wanted to work in a job that was more varied and dynamic, but her husband thought she was being dumb for turning down a handsome income for relatively easy work.

  • My husband thinks I am an idiot for not wanting to be my MIL's caregiver for a six figure salary

    As per title, I care for my MIL, the family pays me but after six years I am done.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • I told my husband and he thinks I am an idiot for throwing away little over 150k a year mostly being a companion.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • It is easy work, but god is it boring. At first it was fine since his mother could still communicate.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • Now with her d tia she can communicate but it is the same story on a loop.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • a younger woman holds the hands of a seated elderly woman
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • She wants to watch the same shows, or go to the same places. Granted she trusts me, but I am reaching a breaking point.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • I get his point i did. not make that much at my old job, but It was more fulfilling and dynamic.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • Him and his family have this thing about keeping the money in the famil y yet none of them actually want to do the actual work.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • I just feel off being called an idiot for not wanting to chase the money.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • a younger woman hands a cup of tea to a seated elderly woman
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Deflated_Hypnotist Caregiver burnout is real Why doesn't he do it? NTA
    via Deflated_Hypnotist
  • Crazy_Caregiver_TRA Original Poster's Reply They all make more at their current jobs. I was the one who made less and at the time it made sense for me to be the one to do it.
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • tamij1313 Is this a 24/7 expectation or are you working set hours/days? Is MIL living with you? If she is in your home and you are the ONLY caregiver all day, all night, 7 days a week.... $150,000 is NOT a great deal for you, as you are literally giving up your own life for YEARS for her. If you care for her in HER home and have a set 40 hour work week with 2 days off and holidays/vacation time, then $150,000 seems great!
    via tamij1313
  • Crazy_Caregiver_TRA Original Poster's Reply I work 7 days a week, it really is not set hours. I am pretty much on 24/7
    via Crazy_Caregiver_TRA
  • Any_Assumption_2023 Is the money going into an account in your name only, or is it "family" money you all use? Burnout is real. It sounds like you're being used.
    via Any_Assumption_2023
  • Delicious-Papaya-389 NTA and he should not have called you an idiot. But, I agree that you should just suck it up (how much longer is your MIL expected to live?), especially if your old salary was lower. If she can be entertained with tv, you can lightly supervise while reading, or do part time school or to eventually start a new career or upgrade your old certifications. This time can be of benefit to you as well. And why not save w/e extra the difference is with your old salary towards retirem
    via Delicious-Papaya-389
  • Far_Nefariousness 773 I think you should take a break, not quit. In this economy, quitting wouldn't be the best. Why don't you find some things to do while working. Don't watch the show, do something else. I was a caregiver before my mom Passed. I don't think I would do it again for anyone else but my dad. Take a break, go on vacation then regroup.
    via Far_Nefariousness773
  • Same_Psychology527 You should tell them you need 4 weeks vacation and every weekend off. They should cover your downtime Theyll understand very quickly what you're going through
    via Same_Psychology527
  • elvenmal Please look into caregiver burnout. Please have your husband look into it. It destroys people and marriages if not addressed
    via elvenmal

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salary family drama marriage wife relationships husband caring mother in law family
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